My Progress

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Who is the enemy???

Since I am getting closer to my goal weight...I am trying to find a way to live like this forever. I really am starting to think it is harder than losing it in the first place. I mean when totally focused and 'on program' I just had to tell myself that I had goals to meet and this food was just getting in the way of those goals. Now I feel a little more pressure to find a happy medium...granted I am probably the only one putting this over my head...but I worry nonetheless. Like when Darla was talking about her party last night (which she rocked by the way) and how hard it was while everyone around her was going at it, she had to keep careful count of everything that passed her lips. We all say we hope it gets easier, I think I am just now resigning myself to the fact that I don't think (for me) it will get easier. It hasn't yet anyway.

I left her a comment and basically 'admitted' that I think this is my Achilles heel...the IT that I will have to battle forever. I worry so much, I even panic when I think about being 70 and home alone, that I will just want to eat and watch tv all day...I am 45...why am I already paranoid about how I will be 25 years from now?

So after much internal thought and many battles in my mind; I think I must admit that I am addicted to sugar. Although I have lost my weight through WW and by moving my body more (a lot more) I really don't think I am one of those who can just calorie count. I can't just have a little treat after dinner, count the points, be happy, and move on. If sugar gets into my bloodstream it is like cocaine or something, I turn into a crazy person obsessing about my next fix.

I have been plateaued for a few weeks so I thought it was a good time to shake things up and try something sugar! I have been paying attention lately and making notes and it seems to be refined sugar and super simple carbs (potato or tortilla chips, and white bread). So while I am not giving up my pre-workout rolled oats I am dramatically reducing my carbs for two weeks to see what happens.

My husband is on board so tonight for dinner it is homemade cream of broccoli soup, 4 oz pork, and salad. After my early morning oatmeal it will pretty much be it for carbs, other than vegetables. So I am not going totally low carb because I am terrified to start eating fat in crazy amounts - my modified plan is to allow some additional fat, but I am staying below my 1500 calorie budget still.

I figure we all have to find what works best for us and I am hoping that with sugar out of my system the weird food cravings and up's and down's will go away. It won't kill me to never have another donut...seriously! I have been noticing that when I eat sugary crap it doesn't fill me up many donuts does it take to make Teresa feel full? A lot! Yea just my luck, I have iron dreams and iron guts, nothing makes me sick...pathetic. The years of overeating have really paid off...yay me :-(

Wow what a jumbled mess this post is...sorry poor appears my brain just threw up all over my computer with no rhyme or reason. See I told you this was hard!

I did 6 miles run/walk on the treadmill and am at 960 calories before really other than my whole gut talk, it was a good day :-)

PS I am updating my weight loss ticker I am going a little lower than my original weight loss goal, as of this morning I am 20 Lbs away from the new lower goal.


Maude said...

It DOES get harder! I actually think it's the mental part. We know what needs to be done to lose weight and keep it off, but it's finding that balance. I don't want to track my calories for the rest of my life. I want to be able to maintain in a more intuitive way, but I'm not sure if that's something I'll be able to do. Anyway, don't feel bad about being uncertain - you're not alone!

Mrs. D said...

I've recently started wondering if I have a sugar-demon too! Donuts don't spark my interest, but a Muddy's cupcake? Oh boy. Complete abstinence since early November, and then I had one. I've struggled since, and I think there's a direct link.

I think cutting it out for 2 weeks to see if it makes a difference is an awesome idea, I may need to do the same thing!

andi said...

Sounds like you are really figuring out what will work best for you. I know that for myself, at this early stage in the process, I am not at a point where I can do anything in moderation. I am hoping that as I continue to drop pounds, that I will be able to add some of my favorites back in (in much, much smaller portions than the past.) It will be interesting to see how this two seek challenge works out for you!

Julie said...

Your right maintenance is the hard part....not that I've ever gotten to goal to maintain. :) But I will as you will!

Everyone does need to find their own way and do what works. And as time goes by I think what works changes too so we will always be figuring it out.

Patrick said...

Great idea shaking things up and awesome you have support for your no sugar shake up. Not sure this ever gets easy, or easier; but I do believe we get smarter and better at it. Realizing that we need to adjust from time to time, and perhaps will have to make adjustments over our lifetimes; that is proof of getting smarter.

Have a Great week!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I really should proofread before I post.

Arrggh, it gets harder!!! Don't tell me that - lol. I guess some days it's more difficult and other days it's easier. Like when you run your 5K's, etc. Those are easy days 'cuz you are so pumped, so alive. And the more difficult days are when food is the main focus.

Thank you for your kind comments, Teresa. I'm such a fan of yours. I find you to be such an inspiration and so real. Not...I'm perfect and just zooming down to goal weight without a hiccup, but someone who tells it like it is.

I know that I am addicted to sugar too. I think that's a good idea to cut sugar out; not all carbs, but just the simple junky ones.

20 lbs away, Teresa. You are right near the finish line and I cannot wait to see you cross it.

Life as a Caterpillar said...

I think it's fantastic that you are battling your sugar-demon. I don't eat a lot of refined sugar but i do eat a lot of fruit, and i love that sweet taste so much!

Good for you for pushing yourself harder, and thank you for your suport yesterday, your words meant a lot